Gossip Girl

NEW YORK (The CW) ― NEW YORK - Every week, 'Gossip Girl' know-it-all Rachel Seidman-Lockamy will recap the latest episode. All the dirt, all the drama from the privileged kids on the Upper East Side.

Last week Chuck and Blair got back together while S's new beau, Gabriel, had more going on under the surface than meets the eye.

We start off this week with Queen B getting her first walk in the Village. Turns out she's going to NYU and no one's happier than her bf Nate. He's been on this side of the world a lot and knows where to get the best slice, the best pot, and wants Blair to learn the joys of the subway. Of course, our pristine princess can't fathom going down amongst the commoners and sitting on a seat that hasn't been hand cleansed every day.

The Humphreys do their quaint celebration of Dan's upcoming graduation by checking out an antique shop. Papa Humphrey lets drop he's selling the gallery for three times what he got it at, and can now afford to send both kids to college and figure out what he wants to do next. Lil J offers the idea of cooking classes. Hmmm. Maybe his famous chili isn't as popular as we were once led to believe. Rufus gets distracted by a pretty ring, and while he tells Dan he's not popping the question to Lilly Van Der Woodsen, the Humphrey kids can't help but wonder if their days of slumming it in Brooklyn are numbered.

Blair and Serena arrive home after a shopping trip, Queen B going on and on and on about Nate. Yes, that deserved three "on's." Blair finally gives S a chance to dish on her Southern boytoy and she says he's a dream, except he has a nasty habit of "poofing" away when he gets a text for a meeting. Serena thinks it's all about the company he's trying to build, but Blair wants to trail him to find out what he's up to. We love when B goes a-spying and it's been too long. Let's find out what the shady Southerner's up to when he's not with his beloved sorta-wife.

Meanwhile, Nate and Chuck play basketball and chat about the biggest obstacle between them at the moment; Blair. Chuck tries to play it off like he's through with his former Queen, saying the bromance can continue despite the drama between the trio.

Lilly and Rufus finally gets the chance to sit down and talk with their sorta-son-in-law. Turns out Gabriel's family is in tobacco, but Gabriel wanted nothing to do with it. Lilly invites him along to a meeting the following evening, and he says he would be honored to attend. Now, we just have to take bets on whether the poofing boyfriend will turn up or turn tail. Rufus suggests an impromptu movie date, but Gabriel turns it down, saying he has work to do. Ouch.

Downstairs, Queen B waits for Gabriel to walk outside so she can tail him, but someone by the name of Chuck Bass finds her first. The two flirt just a little while waiting for Gabriel to leave the building. He gets about ten steps away before jumping into the arms of one Poppi Lofton. Blair snaps the shot and calls S the next day to share the dirt. Serena says she'll get to the bottom of her own problems, and suggests B do the same. Translation: Get out of my P's and Q's!

Gabriel shows at S's place to come clean about what he was up to the night before, and Blair goes to see her boyfriend. She tells him about the Poppi situation, that she and Chuck saw it with their own eyes. The mention of Chuck puts Nate on red alert, and though it was just a run-in on the street, he's steamed about his best friend hanging out with Blair.

Serena asks Gabriel what's going on with Poppi and he tells the truth; all the investors in his company are Poppi's contacts. Ouch. So, Gabriel's playing pretty Poppi for a sap by telling him he and S aren't an item anymore to protect his company. S understands the problem, but the lying drives her nuts. She tries to tell G to drop the mask and tell the truth, but he's buzzed out on the financial end of things. Gabriel asks S to give him one week, til the contracts are done. Then, he'll spill to Poppi.

V and D have a good ole heart to heart. Turns out Dan didn't lose his cater-waiter job after last week's Seder disaster, and Vanessa's in no mood to divulge where she spent the past week. Before she can tell the dirty truth about her night with Chuck Bass, Lil J comes in ready to chit-chat about the ring they saw Daddy eyeing. V suggests the Humphrey children support their father, but before they get the chance to offer him their congratulations he walks in on the cell phone. We don't hear much of the conversation, but it sounds like something's wrong in Rufus-land. Can't wait to find out what it is.

S brings B up to speed on the Poppi/Gabriel farce, but Queen B's not buying the line. It turns into a verbal knock-down between the two besties. With all Blair's talk of Gabriel's lack of trustworthiness, Serena throws Nate's history in B's face. Wow. Somehow we felt that N and B's perfect romance wouldn't last, but this just feels like the moment that makes it real. Will Chuck's arms be open to receive B when she comes crashing down? That's a question for another week.

Back at the gallery, Vanessa brings Rufus some coffee. He admits the market's not as strong as he thought, and it could be a few months before they get a bite on the gallery. Plan B involves Rufus selling his music catalogue, his life's work. Too bad they stopped touring, so it's not worth as much as it was before. Sounds like the Humphreys may have to take Lilly up on her offer to finance Dan's future. Sucks to be poor.

Nate takes Chuck on a tour of his new place, a spot halfway between NYU and Columbia, a spot for him and Blair to make passionate love. Ok, I added that last part, but it's implied! Nate's really threatened by the fact that Chuck and Blair ran into each other on the street, and claims Chuck's not backing off like he said he would. Then Nate lays it down; he doesn't want Chuck to go near B again. Now, that's just a little hard, Nate, don't you think? They still go to the same school, right? And have some of the same friends? Methinks Nate's backed up against the wall and baring his teeth at his best friend over a girl. Bros before hos mustn't apply here.

As soon as the threat's out there, Queen B calls up Chuck. Turns out she's still not convinced about Gabriel and is really freaking out for her friend, S. She asks Chuck to join her on one more mission, and he's more than happy to oblige.

Blair drags Gabriel and Serena away from Lilly's party as Chuck arrives downstairs with Poppi. They do it under the guise of making things better, but everything blows up in their faces. Poppi accuses Gabriel of using her connections for his company and accuses Serena of stealing her boyfriend. Neither are really true, at least as far as we know… Poppi gives Gabriel an ultimatum; leave with her or else she calls the investors and ruins his company before it even starts. Given the choice, Gabriel chooses Serena, and Blair and Chuck officially destroy Gabriel's chances.

Dan comes home from a catering job to find Vanessa downing beers. While chugging she lets slip she slept with Chuck Bass, not just once, but twice. See, she had to get a full STD panel this past week. Is it possible Chuck Bass could be completely clean after all his encounters? I guess V's tests will tell! She mentions Dan's life sucking, but forgets that he doesn't know about the sale of the gallery not going through.

Lil J spends some time with Rufus, and she calls him on not being fine. She lets him know that she and big brother Dan are totally cool with her popping the question to the fine Ms. VDW. He tells her it's a bit premature for wedding talk, but she gives him a pep talk worthy of a Humphrey stamp of approval. Ah, the poor family does have a way with words.

Serena thanks Gabriel for choosing her over money, and he tells her he's Carolina-bound to work for his father again. He tells S his investors would have tripled their money in a year. This information does not escape the ears of Chuck Bass, who stealthily listens in on the intimate conversation. Serena offers to help him by introducing him around to all the people at the party to help his business.

As Serena goes off to find Lilly, Chuck asks for details on the night Gabriel and Serena met. After getting what he needs, he departs, leaving Gabriel and Serena to try and pitch the world (ok, the part that matters in the UES) on his company. Lilly says she's in, and Gabriel and Serena share a mini-makeout session in front of the whole party.

Nate shows up at the party and touches Blair's arm gently. She jumps at the touch, which is totally not a good sign. If you don't know your boyfriend's touch, what do you have? Chuck rounds the corner to dish with Blair about Serena and Gabriel's meeting, but Nate's busy showing Blair the keys to their new place. They're about to go off to the love nest, but Chuck arrives with the laydown on Gabriel and Serena's first encounter. He says they met the night before the SAT's at Butter, but Blair says that's impossible. Chuck wants to complete his one last mission with B, but Nate wants her to stay with him.

Blair chooses the mission with Chuck and grabs Serena to inform her of the "Butter" discrepancy. Seems Blair used the bartender from Butter for the Nelly Yuki SAT Sabotage Party and it would have been impossible for Serena and Gabriel to meet at Butter. S sets the story straight; Georgina knew the manager and it could have been a private party. B and C try to get S to hear reason, but she tells them they're using the whole thing as an excuse to get back together. If that's true, it's totally juicy and gossip-worthy. Dream boy Nate gets dumped by the Queen B AGAIN for the dashing dark knight from Bass? Sounds like a worthy Gossip Girl headline.

At the Loft, V let loose the truth about the Humphrey financial situation, and like Blair a few weeks back, Dan now faces the truth that he's not going to Yale. Also, he thinks Rufus' pride might get in the way of him proposing to Lilly.

Speaking of which, Rufus pulls Gabriel aside offering to invest in his company. Papa Humphrey thinks his money is just as good as anyone else's and even though Gabriel tries to talk him out of it, Rufus wants in.

Blair seeks out Nate in the crowd and asks him to go with her and Chuck on their mission to pull out the truth. He says he won't go, and she asks him to let her go. She kisses him gently, and then it's into the limo with Chuck Bass to seek out a certain missing woman of the night; Georgina. Too bad they have to wait til morning. The two spend the night in the limo and wake up holding hands, heads together. They quickly disengage and check themselves in the mirror. Ah, the lives of the rich. Forget deodorant. As long as the face looks fine, you're fab.

Blair wants to march up to Georgina with Chuck, but he points out the two ladies don't exactly get along, so it might be best if he goes alone. She realizes Chuck didn't even need her there, but was trying to keep her from her first night at the new place with Nate. He doesn't deny the claim, but offers that her boyfriend's motives might not have been as pure as she thought. Before she can think much on that, he points out she made the choice to come spend the night in a limo with him rather than go to the love nest. Ooh. Touché Bass! He leaves her in the limo to think while he takes his chances with the shady Georgina.

Chuck wanders the camp and finds Georgina Spark, smiling and happy, asking Chuck if he's been saved, too. Might I say, the OMJC shirts? Too awesome. She tells him about her new life and tries to convince him she's really changed. He asks her about Gabriel Edwards and she says she knows nothing of him, but lets drop she never went to Butter.

Gabriel and Serena share a post-coital moment at his place. She asks if Georgina made any impression on him, making a point to mention her flaming red hair. He tells her he remembers the flaming red hair, which is a complete lie, and the jig is up. Serena no longer completely trusts her boytoy.

Serena leaves, and before you know it, Poppi's back and wrapping her arms tight around Gabriel, kissing his lips and clinging to his naked chest. Did it just get hot in here? The two discuss their mission, and it seems it was all a scam to get their investments. Serena calls to say she's on the way, and the two try to book it out of there. Instead, Rufus Humphrey shows up at the door bearing his check in person. In a flicker of humanity, it looks like Gabriel really doesn't want to take the money of someone who can't afford it, but if he shows any kindness towards Rufus, the whole scam could be up. Quite the conundrum for the scheming Southerner.

Serena calls Chuck and he says he and Blair are coming to the rescue, but he notices his limo missing. Turns out Queen B's eager to get back to her white knight after all. She shows up at Nate's new apartment and he offers to show her around the place. She can't even offer him a smile, because she's really hurt that Nate does not trust her. He apologizes and tells her he loves her, but she doesn't say the words back.

Serena shows up at the hotel to find Gabriel gone, and Poppi marches in like the hurt, jilted ex.

Rufus goes in to talk to Dan, but Dan and Lil J have a surprise for their dad. They bought him the ring he saw at the antique store. Turns out they pooled their savings so he'd know they supported him in proposing to Lilly. He offers to pay them back for the ring, and they honestly appreciate it. Haha.

Chuck grabs a taxi to head back to the city, and as soon as he mentions Blair's name, we see a little of the old Georgina coming back through her face. She mentions it's her day off and goes off with Chuck back to the UES. Things can only get juicier from here.

(The CW)