Gossip Girl

NEW YORK (The CW) ― NEW YORK - Every week, 'Gossip Girl' know-it-all Rachel Seidman-Lockamy will recap the latest episode. All the dirt, all the drama from the privileged kids on the Upper East Side.

Last time, Chuck showed up to Queen B's with his heart on his sleeve, only to have it hardened to stone at the site of Nate's jacket at her pad.

We open this week with S and B chatting away on the phone about this and that, but Serena has no clue her BFF is lying about her location. Turns out Blair's on a secret mission she doesn't want her bestie to know about.

After a quick stop to get some yummy stuff for breakfast, Serena runs into socialite Poppy Lifton sporting an awesome new look. Those bangs look banging! Last time we saw her, she pretty much dissed Blair and tried to take her place as S's bestie.

Meanwhile, at the Humphrey House, Dan rants on and on about his first fan letter and passes his entry packet for Yale to his father. Things seem to be rosy for the Humphreys who are off to breakfast with Lilly Van Der Woodsen. Before Lonely Boy can depart, his old flame and friend V shows up aching for her loverboy, Nate. Turns out it's a week later, and he still hasn't pressed her digits once. Just before she can freak out, Nate emails her saying he wants to see her. She thinks everything's looking up, but with this many Brooklyn babes in good moods this morning, something's bound to go wrong.

V shows at Nate's just in time to see Blair leave. Turns out that email didn't come from Nate. His BFF Chuck had hacked his account to give V the headsup on their lovers' tryst. Ouch.

The Humphreys and Van Der Woodsens, plus Bass, share a few moments around the breakfast nook, but Chuck's off for some important business. Serena shows up bearing gifts of food and they let Lil J know they've planned her Sweet Sixteen. She freaks a little at the attention and asks for something a little smaller, a little more peaceful. Lilly and Serena aren't used to someone not wanting the posh life, but they do their best to not show the hurt on their faces.

Later, Serena and her little brother talk about Jenny's lack of enthusiasm, but Eric says maybe J is worried no one will show. On time, the Mean Girls, minus P, arrive to diss S and her lack of party-planning. Apparently she and P picked the same date for a get-together. As the girls rub Serena's defeat in her face, she calls for backup in the form of Poppy Lifton.

Chuck and B chat at school, and it's so nice to see they both still attend. Chuck tries to get through to her, but she reminds him how hard she fought for him. She's done, and Chuck's little heart is breaking.

Rufus cooks chili at the Humphrey House as Lilly watches on, sipping a glass of wine. Wine and chili. Now, there's a match made only in Brooklyn. They talk, and it turns out Dan's not getting the financial aid he needs. Lilly jumps in, immediately offering her money to help. When he turns that down, she offers to let him and the kids move in with her and sell the loft to get the money they need.

Blair and Nate walk together in the snow, chatting about Jennifer Aniston. I kid you not. She's talking in circles, but he immediately catches on that she wants him to break it off with V to be back with his Lady B. Turns out, Nate thinks it's over anyway, so he's scheduled dinner to see if V's on the same wavelength.

At dinner, Nate pretty much starts into it with Vanessa as soon as she sits down. She wants to reconcile, but he shakes his head like a five-year-old. Then, he lies and tells her there is no one else, but after goes running to Blair's. She immediately hugs him, and the two perfect liars are off together to live their perfect little lives… or so it seems.

Serena brings Jenny to meet Poppy at a dress shop. Turns out they're hoping to get Jenny a flashy dress and get things moving for S's social life. As usual, Poppy brings out the worst in Serena, encouraging her to throw the crazy party despite Lil J's wishes. Looks like Serena's steam rolling the party for her own purposes. Poor Lil J. She won't know what hit her.

In her gorgeous party dress, Jenny forces her brother to help hoist buns, chili and board games up to the Van Der Woodsen abode. In the elevator, he lets Lil J in on a secret; Dad might be selling the loft so they can move up to the Upper East Side. They decide the life is just not for them as soon as the doors open. The Mean Girls show up to turn their noses while applauding Lil J's party. Turns out she's the toast of the town and didn't even know it.

Lil J tries to tell S how much she hates the party. She asks Eric for the 411 and when he spills that S has her own motives for throwing the party, Lil J turns Mean Girl and sends out a blast to make sure everyone in the world shows to trash the place. Nice to see that dark streak didn't completely disappear with the raccoon makeup, Lil J!

Poppy ditches the party and S tries to salvage something as the other socialites ditch, too. Lonely Boy flirts with the loving throngs of women while V and Chuck arrive together. They immediately spot Blair and Nate fawning over one another. So, V initiates some major macking with Chuck right in their faces. Nate tries to warn V about Chuck. Too bad Queen B's close by and eager to seal the deal with her perfect boy toy. She crawls on top of him and tries to entice him. Turns out, he's not ready to be tied to his ex-love again.

Serena and Dan change the sheets on her bed together since some strangers had sex in the bed minutes earlier, and S admits her life is a bit of a mess just in time for Rufus and Lilly to come home and discover the aftermath. Serena says it's not her fault and Jenny finally owns up to calling in the crowds. Then, she makes sure everyone knows she's in no rush to be an UESer. Living with the Van Der Woodsens? So not her plan. Oh wait, Eric didn't know. Welcome to the clue-in, Eric.

Serena seeks out Poppy's advice and they decide she needs to get away for a while. Poppy invites her to Spain to meet her boyfriend's hot friends, and their plane leaves the next morning. As usual, Poppy's logic wins out and the girls take off find more reckless adventures.

At the airport Serena runs into Poppy's boyfriend, who says he met her last year when she went by the name "Savannah." Another glimpse into Serena's sordid past? Yes, please!

The next morning, Rufus and Lilly talk over the mess at the Humphrey House. They're on the same page about the whole moving in thing; it's just not the right time. Dan overhears and puts two and two together; they don't have enough money to get him into Yale.

Blair and Dorota walk together in search of ducks, but what they find is Nate Archibald, eager for another "first kiss" with his Queen B. Their lips meet, so soft, so sweet, then the heat turns up and they melt the ice behind them.

At his father's behest, Dan calls his fan, and it turns out that fan is his long-lost, not dead half-brother! The half-brother's adoptive parents intercept the call and delete the number. Ouch!

Dan, Eric and Jenny finally play that board game they wanted to, but without their sister. She's off to Spain. Think that's the most scandalous thing out there?

Nope! Chuck and V spent the night together and they're at it again! Oh my!

(The CW)