"Okay, this isn't awful. It's always backed up on the ramps."
Insert random cursing here.
The text message popped up at about 1 p.m. on Saturday afternoon. It was an incredibly gorgeous day, albeit a bit humid, and I was on my way to my softball game in Oakland.
"Parkway East backed to Ft Pitt Brdg. Pass it along to other team members."
My friend (and starting right fielder) Scott drives in from the Coraopolis area, and he ran smack dab into the massive traffic jam caused by PennDOT's latest round of roadwork on the Parkway East. It was down to single lane from well before the tunnels to the Business 22 interchange in Wilkins Township.
As I made it onto the Parkway from Ardmore Boulevard, it was smooth sailing (disregard the photos -- they come into play later.) As I looked at the other direction, it was a totally different story.
There were the cones, the workers, the equipment, and then there was the traffic.
The speedometer on my car went up, as I saw a distinct pattern on the other side.
"Car...car....car.....car......car.......car........car.........flagger with the stop sign........car..................car-car-car-car-car-car-car-car-car."
Of course, it got worse as my travels took me through the tunnels and towards the Bates Street interchange.
Anytime there's road work, we try to get the word out as much as possible. I grew up on the wrong side of town, which I classify as living ANYWHERE that involves the Parkway East to get to the city. Therefore, I've learned the alternates. I know how to get around the Parkway, and make good time doing it as well.
The inbound detour has been a breeze. I just take Ardmore Boulevard past the Parkway ramps, past one of our competitors, and I make the left towards Brinton Road. Then, I follow it through Edgewood, take a right at the light near Edgewood Primary, a left at the borough building, and a quick left at the next light. You then take the first right at the Edgewood Club, and that shoots you right back onto the Parkway -- provided the closure affects things BEFORE the Edgewood/Swissvale interchange.
Of course, I automatically assumed that my evening trek into downtown for dinner with friends would be a fairly uneventful one. Sure, the Pirates were at home, but I figured I could still make the drive. That's where the top picture comes in. For about five minutes, I just figured people were having problems merging. After moving the equivalent of a single car-length, I realized something was wrong.
I picked up the phone and called 1-866-MY-TRAFC (it's a free service from the folks who supply the information I use daily during Real-Time Traffic.) I found out that there was a car flipped over at the entrance to the tunnels. I had no real way to get out of that. Unfortunately, a few drivers decided it would be a splendid idea to bust through the large "DO NOT ENTER" signs at the closed-off outbound Parkway ramp. I hope they were ticketed heavily. You know who you are.
Regardless, it took me AN HOUR to get downtown. But that wasn't all.
When construction closures affect the outbound side, the detour situation is a bit different. You can't really expect to take my aforementioned detour in reverse since traffic is usually horrendous well before the start of the closed-off route. Therefore, I've typically weaved my way through Oakland to Squirrel Hill to Regent Sqaure, or used Second Avenue into Homestead, then followed 837 home.
I happened to be in the North Hills on Saturday. Around 12:30 a.m., I decided to call it a night, so I got into my car and headed home. I followed the Parkway North to the Veteran's Bridge, where I ran into a single-lane pattern. No big deal, right? Usually, it's not. My big problem was that I inadvertently forgot about the Boulevard of the Allies closure. I knew the bridge there has been closed for months, but it didn't immediately click in my head until it was too late. The closure meant I was going to end up in that thick-as-molasses single lane pattern.
After moving about a half-mile in 30 minutes, I started to get restless. Apparently, so did the folks from Mississippi in front of me. They thought it would be a good idea to blast the most obnoxious music, get out of their car, and dance on the Parkway. THEY DANCED. Every time traffic would creep forward, a space the equivalent of a car-length opened up before them, but it took these guys a few minutes to realize what was going on. I realize it's a minute amount of space, but hey, a car-length is a car-length, right?
In the end, it took 45 minutes to get to the entrance of the outbound closure, which is where all of the fun starts. Fortunately, once everyone has jockeyed for position and makes the single-lane trek to points east, the speeds picked up significantly.
What's the lesson I learned? Pay attention to me the next time! Still, I can't say I'm too happy. While no one was really to blame, I blew a lot of gas sitting in traffic.
Good times.